Stupidly Following Traditions On Our Wedding Day

Jenny and I have been married for over 14 months now. So, when it comes to timely writing, this one is like the release of the Dumb and Dumber sequel 20 years after the first. Hopefully, this isn’t as awkward and uncomfortable.

It’s still strange to me that I am a married man. Going through with a marriage is a big thing no matter how big or small your wedding is. That’s because all weddings have to follow a few simple yet silly rules.

One we foolishly followed on our big day was the tradition of not seeing each other before the ceremony. Well, we kind of didn’t follow it completely. We still woke up together, ate breakfast, and were together in the morning.

Speaking of, when is the cutoff for not seeing each other? Like, are you supposed to not see each other once the clock strikes midnight? Or do you get a larger cushion to work with?

wedding tradition
Spoiler alert: feeding the bride cake was one tradition we did follow. Who do you think we are?

Whatever the rule is, we broke it.

At the time of our wedding, we didn’t own a car. We also didn’t own friends. And yes, I said own friends. Because clearly, after 30 years on this planet, the only way to make a friend is to buy one. Of all the things I know, this is the truest truth.

So, in order to reach our wedding destination, we took a bus. It’s like The Graduate closing scene in reverse. We traveled there the night before in order to prepare for our wedding. Taking place in a nearby hotel room, we spent the night setting everything up. The next morning, we foolishly parted ways to do our final preparations.

I did the 20-minute walk home and tried cramming my body into the rented tuxedo. Meanwhile, back at the hotel, Jenny was wondering why we were so insistent on not getting dressed together.

I’m in a tuxedo, she’s in a dress. I’d say we did a good job at preparing. Too bad the reverend fell asleep. We weren’t even married yet. Are we that boring?

Our wedding already broke the rule of taking place in December. In almost every culture, a December wedding is bad luck. I don’t really get why. Who wouldn’t want to overshadow Christmas?

After about an hour of being away from each other, with my bow-tie crookedly clipped on, I hopped on the next bus I could back to Jenny where we’d complete our preparations. We did our best to help the other look a little more presentable until my sister arrived to do Jenny’s hair.

I’m guessing a lot of weddings that take place via K1 Visa are similar to ours. Once you’re in the US together, you have only 90 days to get married. That’s a very short time to plan a wedding. Jenny and I did ours in only a month. When you’re rushing something so important, you don’t have time to worry about superstitions.

wedding vows
Last minute wedding vow copying. If I wrote any slower, we were going to need to pay for an extra night.

On the plus side, we did have something old (my dad), something borrowed (a pen I took from work and forgot was in my pocket), and something blue (my varicose veins) present.

No wedding is perfect and it’s impossible not to break a few traditions. The one we seemed to completely neglect was being apart. After three years of being on opposite sides of the world, we told that tradition to kiss our asses.

wedding butts
How many married couples can say they have a picture of their butts together on their wedding day?

5 thoughts on “Stupidly Following Traditions On Our Wedding Day

  1. All the best in your marriage but I have to ask, do people actually still follow a lot of wedding traditions or take them that seriously?

    I like cake so we had cake.
    I wore a Maroon dress (never EVER wanted to wear white).
    I saw him the night before and the morning of the wedding he drove us to the Registry Office.
    Ours was a long distance relationship and I got married in another country (it was an interesting experience).

    Friends of mine lived together for years and he stayed in a hotel the night before the wedding – as if that made a difference. I think she was just glad for the space. The good thing about marriage traditions are that they’re ours to adapt, accept or reject.

    Imagine what it would have been like if it was 1817 when you got married.


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