An Average Episode of It’s Showtime from an American Perspective

One of the more popular programs in The Philippines is a daytime show called Regis and Imelda. It’s a spinoff of the American show Regis and Kelly which was spun off of Regis and Kathy which was a re-imagination of the Iranian program Regis and Khomeini. Is there anyone Regis won’t partner up with?

I’m not posting this to discuss Regis’ career and how he’ll partner with anyone.

Instead, I wanted to sum up an average episode of the hit Filipino daytime show called It’s Showtime. Jenny watches it regularly and I’ve caught the gist of how it all goes down. If you’ve seen it, you know I’m right! If you haven’t, here’s my perspective on it.

Step 1: Sing the theme song

Every episode of It’s Showtime begins with the hosts for the day lip-syncing to the song. It’s kind of obnoxious. The song isn’t particularly short either. The hosts are forced to dance a lot, too. The very Korean-looking female host who can’t sing will shout things like “Hey” and “Oooh” throughout. Vice Ganda doesn’t always participate because he knows better than to lose dignity. Or maybe he’s just trying to pull his shorts up a little higher. Either way, the show always includes the singing of the theme song in the beginning. Some of those who sing the song barely show up for the rest of the episode. Has that little guy with glasses ever done anything else?

Imagine if every episode of Friends they were forced to sing and dance to the theme song live. They wouldn’t. The cost of Friends had too much Illuminati power.

Step 2: Light banter, make fun of one of the weaker hosts

This is the first part of the show where I don’t really know what is going on. I don’t speak Tagalog so I have to guess what’s happening. It seems like each episode has some light banter where someone is the victim of jokes. They tickle each other a lot. You wouldn’t see Howie Mandel tickle Sharon Osbourne in any situation. Matt Lauer might do that to Katie Couric, though. It’s usually the short guy with the big t-shirts who falls prey to the humor.

This part of the show could work well in America. Everyone enjoys banter and picking on the smallest in the group.

Step 3: Vest in Spelling game with people yelling out letters

Once they’re done making jokes at someone’s expense, they play Vest in Spelling. This is a spelling game that usually involves one or two people taking control as others are forcefully moved around based on the letters on the vest they’re wearing. Letters are shouted and it gives me anxiety. It’s like being bullied by my kindergarten teacher all over again for forgetting what the letter U is called. I’m in my 30s and I still remember this.

I don’t believe a game like Vest in Spelling could work as a segment on a television show. No, it could only work as a primetime program on ABC hosted by Wayne Brady.

Step 4: Sexy Babe or Miss Q&A Kween of the Multibeks Contests

Next up is the bulk of the show. When Jenny began watching regularly, it was a daily Sexy Babe contest which didn’t seem to fit the daytime talk show norms I believed in previously. Sexiness shouldn’t be decided around lunch. That’s more of a late-night thing. After they declared a winner from all of the contestants based on random questions and even randomer talents, they switched to the Miss Q&A Kween of the Multibeks. This is the same thing as the Sexy Babe contest except it’s for transsexuals. They find three new one each episode, too. It’s impressive how they’re able to find these people.

On American television, a Sexy Babe contest would get stale very quickly without any nudity. It’s Showtime features none. The Miss Q&A Kween of the Multibeks would never pass in these United States. People in a certain part of the country would just be confused as to why they’re so attracted to that woman with the broad shoulders, deep voice, and Adam’s apple. Then they’d get furious and register for a camp to convert themselves.

Step 5: The singing contest

This is Jenny’s favorite part of the show because she enjoys singing. I don’t need to tell you how well a singing contest works in the US. There’s nothing particularly unique about the way It’s Showtime does their singing contest other than the fact that one of the judges will regularly say “Ehhhh it was okay” when he doesn’t like a performance. It’s honestly my favorite part of the show.

It’s Showtime is a variety show. In this country, they’ve gone out of style completely. People don’t want to see a transsexual beauty contest lead into a singing competition after their heads were hurting from the struggles of the Vest in Spelling portion of the show. Americans are simple people with simple tastes. Give us one thing. And for goodness sake, stop making the cast members sing the song every episode.

I should also mention one of the main cast members is currently not on the show because he was accused of rape several years ago. They’ve continued on as if he might end up in prison, happily singing and dancing.

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