Life is great when you can pay someone else to touch your gross body. Continue reading A Tribute to Massages
The odds finally tipped against my favor and I had to waste a Wednesday at jury duty doing nothing. Continue reading Jury Duty is Stupid and Wasted My Wednesday
And we’re back. As Jenny mentioned in her triumphant return to blogging, we had a miserable summer. It was hot, kids were often laughing within earshot of our apartment windows, and the only vacation we went on was due to … Continue reading What the Bs in Airbnb Stand For
Bedbugs, new jobs, you know the drill. Continue reading Updates
Legally, my name is Timothy. Ask Jenny and she’ll tell you she prefers to call me Timmy. I’ve always been a Timmy to her. Although we now refer to each other as Bee, Boot, or other cutesy vomit-inducing pet names, … Continue reading Am I Timmy or Timothy?
Long before Jenny and I were Whatevers*, we used to talk online about ridiculous things. One very strange day, we happened to have the same thought … Continue reading Sleep is the Enemy: An LDR Love Story
I realized recently that as I grow older, my tolerance for bullshit and noise, literal and otherwise, has constantly diminished. Impressing others and pretending to care … Continue reading On Negative Emotions
Lately, I’ve been a little disconnected with the world. Other than my darling wife Jenny Bee, I don’t interact much with anyone on a real one-on-one basis. Sure, there’s the guy I get my gas from every two weeks. There’s … Continue reading Your Political Opinions Have Worn Me Down
We’re all told from a young age how important it is to be honest. I think that’s because, as humans, we’re genuinely dishonest creatures. Whether for our own personal gains or to protect those we love, there are plenty of … Continue reading Happiness is Impossible without Authenticity
Take a look around your work space. Chances are, most of the people around you have decorated their area in some format. Maybe they have pictures of their ugly kids or their dog-wife. Perhaps you work somewhere a little more … Continue reading Decorating My Office Cubicle: A Futile Endeavor
Shopping, buying new things, and spending any money at all makes me sick to my stomach. So, when I learned Jenny felt the same way, I knew for sure she was the wife for me. Jenny is what you may … Continue reading Living with a Minimalist as a Former Collector
Assuming Jenny and I are soulmates and are meant to be together (hey, we did well on this quiz!) let’s examine how close we could have come to never meeting. Meeting your soulmate is no easy task. The odds that … Continue reading The Butterfly Effect: What If You Never Meet Your Soulmate?
There are many ways to tell a story. One is through video. We’ve already shared our Alaskan adventure in a trilogy of award-winning features: Alaskan Adventure … Continue reading Our Alaskan Dog Sledding Adventure
I’ve undertaken many job interviews in the past several months. Only one job truly appealed to me from a creative aspect with the others winning due to their location and strict anti-slavery stance. One of the more recent interviews I … Continue reading Casually Changing the Subject to the Philippines
Please stick out your tongue if you’re among us elite individuals who hate using public transportation. Now don’t get me wrong–I wasn’t born with a silver spoon hanging off my drooling aristocratic mouth. I’ve used public transportation all my life. … Continue reading Going Places is Way Better When Done in Private
Over the last month, I’ve done something I haven’t done much of in the last year. I’ve actually been home alone. There were no fun booby … Continue reading Home Alone: Keeping Sane in a Long Distance Relationship
A bad thing happened to me last year. Even worse is how I managed it. Many nights last summer were spent on Indeed.com, Craigslist.com, and other job sites looking for something new. Heck, I can go back even further than … Continue reading A Bad Thing Happened
Last week, I had the pleasure of riding Uber three times in one day. I thought when I got a car late last year my days of hoping for a mute Uber driver were over. Little did I know, circumstances … Continue reading A Tale of Three Uber Drivers
In our quest to see everything there is to see in New Jersey, Jenny and I visited Victor Victori’s Multiplism Statues. The artist, known as Victor Victori, has these on display outside of his home in Rutherford, New Jersey. The … Continue reading Exploring NJ Trip #2: Victor Victori’s Multiplism Statues
This is one of those blog posts I regularly write about regarding the horrors of getting older. An example of this is the one about how … Continue reading But My Wife Thinks I’m Funny
One of Timmy’s gifts for me last Christmas was a ticket to a Broadway show. Fortunately (not that I’m doubting his artistic sensibilities), he picked out … Continue reading The Book of Mormon (Our First Broadway Show Ever)
My biggest regret in life is that time Jenny and I went to the aquarium and I didn’t ask an incredibly offensive yet logical question. If you’ve been following along for a few months, you may remember that time we … Continue reading My Big Regret
I think Jenny and I have matured over the last year. Before, our must-watch show was Forensic Files. We’d gather our dinner together, put on our alluring mystery program, and hope that the other didn’t have a life insurance policy … Continue reading This is Us Obsessing Over Jeopardy!
I stopped at a local pharmacy today to pick up some cough drops when I saw an unusual sign. It stated that the county I was in abides to Blue Laws. I’ve never heard of these. Was I too busy … Continue reading Blue Laws Are Trying to Keep Us Naked and Standing