home alone

Home Alone: Keeping Sane in a Long Distance Relationship

Over the last month, I’ve done something I haven’t done much of in the last year. I’ve actually been home alone.

home alone
I can’t believe I got Macauley Culkin to agree to do this for a picture on my blog. I must say, though, he has really let himself go. Drugs are one hell of a drug.

There were no fun booby traps, aftershave screams, or sliding across the floor in my underwear like there is in the movies. Though I did poop with the door open, I didn’t really enjoy not having my wife around. It reminds me too much of the years we spent apart.

Since Jenny moved in, there are only a handful of times I can count when I was at home and she wasn’t. One was on our wedding day when we foolishly followed that dumb tradition of not seeing each other before our vows. Another occurred when I was really sick and she went out to get us snacks. As Mary Poppins says, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. I decided multiple brownies and cookies would ensure all of the medicine would get down just fine.

More recently, our work schedules have kept us apart. We aren’t always enslaved for the same hours each day. So, there have been times when I’ve been left to guard the castle and Jenny is doing serf duty.

You know things aren’t going your way when the peasants have more Twitter followers than you. And yes, I’m assuming they are ranked that way. (Photo Courtesy of Kingdomcraze.com)

The silence when Jenny is not around is horrifying. She’s not a particularly loud person, but I do appreciate the occasional nonsense word she spews out. It’s amazing, too, how you can miss the sound of someone’s farts.

When we were on opposite sides of the world, it was easy to feel lonely. One of the worst parts of a long distance relationship is that you have no way of contacting them whenever you want. Now, Jenny and I have the underappreciated luxury of nudging each other or kicking down the bathroom door to be together.

knocking down door
What I do when Jenny doesn’t pay attention to me. (Photo Courtesy of myclothdiaperstash.blogspot.com)

As I write this, I’m at home alone again. The radio keeps me company and writing gives me something to do. Even if I do enjoy doing both, I would much rather prefer having my wife around.

In a long distance relationship, it’s necessary to find ways to keep sane. This probably goes for anyone who lives alone. Whether you’re in a relationship with someone on the other side of the world or you’ve simply moved to a town where you don’t know a soul, keeping busy and happy is key.


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