So, How’s That New Diet Working Out For Ya?

As Jenny wrote a few weeks ago, we planned to lose some weight this year. Like plans of mice and men, donuts and other goodies got in the way.

Over the past few weeks, our dieting attempt didn’t go too well. In fact, I’d say we hardly tried.

On a recent Friday, we ate dinner at Burger King. It was the nearest place and after a long week, we just didn’t care about eating a civil meal. Jenny and I both just wanted to gorge on whatever we could, as quickly as possible. Burger King was invented for such self-hating evenings.

burger king
Nobody ever ate Burger King and felt good about themselves after. It’s basically digestive name-calling. (Photo Courtesy of

Saturday made Friday seem like a day of fasting. While we did eat a modest sized breakfast, our lunch consisted of our first trip to an American buffet together.

When I visited Jenny in the Philippines, we ate at two buffets; one for each visit. The first was pretty successful, resulting in zero vomit. I cannot say the same about our second trip to the buffet. In her attempt to keep up with me, Jenny recycled her meal.

As if eating Burger King on Friday and visiting a buffet on Saturday wasn’t shameful enough, on Sunday we ordered Dominos pizza. I even walked through the rain to pick it up. That’s dedication to appearing on My 600 Pound Life. When you’re willing to trek through poor weather for an artery clogging food, your priorities need reassessing.

dominos directions
The path I would take to get to a large three-topping manager’s special pizza at Dominos. (Photo Courtesy of

This week will be different. We’ve reached our rock bottom. I’m physically slowing down and constantly feel bloated. My exercise routine is practically non-existent. You know it’s bad when I refer to it as an “exercise routine.” It’s like I’m someone’s overweight aunt.

As of Monday February 19, 2018, we’re back on track with our diet. Jenny even offered me some ice cream left over in the freezer from our final binge on Sunday. I declined. For the rest of the day, I’m going to drown out its siren call from the freezer begging me to eat it.

ice cream freezer
The day our freezer looks like this is the day we’ve given up completely. (Photo Courtesy of

A key to dieting, as I have learned through many attempts over the years, is knowing what works for you. I can’t eat a little ice cream on a diet. It would ruin my whole day (or it make it incredible, depending on my goals at the time). So, as we re-start this attempt to get healthy again, I’ll have to say “no” to anything delicious.

The first real test comes next Monday. While writing this, I was notified there would be free donuts available to me at work.

Is it insane to purposefully break my jaw to avoid temptation?

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