Blue Laws Are Trying to Keep Us Naked and Standing

I stopped at a local pharmacy today to pick up some cough drops when I saw an unusual sign. It stated that the county I was in abides to Blue Laws. I’ve never heard of these. Was I too busy counting my dandruff in history class to notice?

I consider myself a pretty lawful person. I made it through the film Runaway Jury and have never been convinced by Slenderman to do anything. Somewhere along the line, Blue Laws passed by me.

blue laws
True story: we spent more time in history class watching movies that had nothing to do with history than learning. (Photo Courtesy of

According to my Internet search, Blue Laws prevent the sale of furniture, appliances, electronics, clothing, and other objects on Sundays. This doesn’t make sense to me. Why keep us nude with broken washing machines? Sundays are the best days to buy anything. Specifically, it’s the 24-hour period I most frequently buy food I shouldn’t then rationalize I’ll get back on my diet the following day.

Some counties will forbid the sale of alcohol on Sundays. I think New York City requires a specific time when it becomes available. This is silly because it doesn’t matter when an alcohol falls into a gutter.  As if making a ruckus at 11am is any better than doing it at 11pm.

alcohol sales
If anything, alcohol should only be sold Friday through Sunday. How does selling Vodka to someone on a Monday afternoon help anyone? (Photo Courtesy of Headline News)

As far as crazy laws go, I suppose this isn’t the worst. I mean, it’s all inclusive. No one is allowed to participate in the fun. We’re all left living like a streaking Amish person.

In this current political climate, Blue Laws remind us how far behind we really are. How can we expect our president to behave correctly when there are places under his rule banning the purchase of new underwear on Sunday after losing it on Saturday?

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