My Moisturizing Routine

I feel like a lady whenever I think about how often I moisturize. It’s only twice a day. It’s also necessary to prevent my skin from looking like the surface of Mars or Mickey Rourke.

About a year and a half ago, my skin got really bad. I tried to blame it on puberty until my birth certificate reminded me this wasn’t possible. For about the first time in a decade, my eczema had returned and it wasn’t going away without a fight.

I had pretty bad eczema as a child. It usually sprang up on my face below my eyes and near my nose. This time around, it was popping up on my eyelids and other places, too. I can deal with rashes in a lot of places. The eyelids are different. People are going to notice even if you don’t blink all day. Believe me. I tried. All it did was creep people out. And they still noticed my rashy skin.

Cut it out, kid! You’re never going to make friends with eyes like these. (Photo Courtesy of

I tried everything to heal it. Prayer. Creating good karma. Asking the universe for advice. Being completely passive about the whole situation. None of it worked.

I even saw a doctor about it. With a waiting time of about two hours (no exaggeration), a slumped over old man gave me some moisturizing recommendations to cure what ailed me. Later, he also injected a Cortisone shot into my butt. At least I hope that’s what it was. Come to think of it, I never turned around to look.

The eczema did go away temporarily, but it didn’t help in the long run. I also had to suffer through the embarrassment of being seen in public with such poor skin. Things reached their worse when I won my company’s annual Red Skull lookalike contest without even entering.

The biggest crime in film history is the demonizing Marvel has done to eczema sufferers such as Red Skull. (Photo Courtesy of Digital Spy)

When the weather warmed up, my skin did clear up a bit more. However, there was still some flaring up regularly. My hands have their days when it looks like I reached into a jelly jar and forgot to lick them completely clean after.

Fortunately, I did find a solution that seems to work. It requires twice-a-day moisturizing with a very specific ointment. Let me introduce you to my Aveeno brand baby eczema therapy moisturizer.

I’m not too specific about many things. My moisturizer is different. It’s only this specific brand and model that seems to cure me.

This is oily gold for me and the number one reason why your children do not run in fear from my face. (Photo Courtesy of

I’ve always had sensitive skin. It was always my excuse as a kid when I didn’t want to take my shirt off. The reality is I was just fat. But I really did have sensitive skin; I swear!

Eczema is nothing to be ashamed about. Even if mine made me look like I got beaten up badly some days, it didn’t make me a lesser person. It made me into some form of creature equal to a regular human. A Canadian, perhaps?

I joke about it now. During my really bad days battling eczema, there was nothing funny about it. I’m convinced at least a few people believed I was a junkie because of how red and swollen my eyes would get. Every day at work, I expected my friends to have an intervention. Thankfully, I don’t have any work friends.

There are still days when my eczema misbehaves and I would rather not be seen in public by people I don’t know or care the opinion of anyway. For the most part, it has cleared up and I can live a comfortable life with full-time hip, foot, and knee pain to go along with crippling anxieties and irregular feelings of unhappiness.

Thank you, Aveeno Baby Eczema Therapy Moisturizer!

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