Happiness is Impossible without Authenticity

We’re all told from a young age how important it is to be honest. I think that’s because, as humans, we’re genuinely dishonest creatures. Whether for our own personal gains or to protect those we love, there are plenty of reasons to lie. To those who have tried my cooking, you understand.

Sadly, until you can become authentic, you’ll never be happy. This is a truth I know. Or maybe I’m lying again.

I used to have a theory that the moment you discovered the meaning of life you’d die. It was a cruel prank of life. I’ll only know if this is true briefly as a piece of scaffolding falls from the Chuck E. Cheese marquee above. I hope it kills me quickly.

chuck e cheese
Chuck E. Cheese now serves two kinds of pizza: cheese and weed. Chuck likes the latter. (Photo Courtesy of NY Daily News)

Though I have yet to find the meaning of life, I do think I know the one element needed in happiness. It’s being true to yourself as much as possible.

It’s a lot easier to be authentic when you’re confident in your abilities and/or don’t care about others. For me, my lack of authenticity is a combination of both. I’m not confident. I do care.

I’m going to use work as an example because I find it’s with our employers we hide our authenticity the most.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a job where I was truly myself.

Hey, that’s a good thing.

Sometimes I’m a lazy scumbag. Other moments, I’m just downright mean. Ask Jenny. Our relationship works because we’re authentic with each other. All of the best friendships work this way. The more layers peeled away, the better it is.

mango float
It also helps to have someone who genuinely enjoys the same desserts as you. That’s HUGE in a relationship.

While at work, many of us are phonies. It’s a survival mechanism. When you’re new and still learning, you have to win over your employer by making them like you. In each job I’ve had, I never got it because of my talents. It’s my amazing personality–authentic or not–that got me hired.

I’ve had four jobs in my life. At the first, I rarely opened up. I didn’t need to. I wouldn’t say I was fake there as much as I hid my deepest desires. At my second job, I could be myself a little more. However, because it dealt with clients, I had to be a people-pleaser. After a while, this wore me down. I hate pleasing people. That’s what prostitutes are for.

The most untrue I’ve been is at the last job I had before the one I have now. Completely out of my element, I was constantly pressured into being overly polite at all times. This guise was impossible to maintain forever. Even when frustrated with coworkers and how poorly the business was run, I had to keep my mouth shut.

I was like that guy who worked at Blockbuster who insisted digital media was the way of the future and the executives tossed me out a window. Look it up. It happened. (Photo Courtesy of Twitter)

At my current job, I can be myself. That’s because nobody really talks to one another. We’re too busy working trying to meet quota. For some this might sound like a tense environment. Me, I say “Someone has to build those dildos.”

I’m a lot more authentic at work now. In doing so, I’m hoping to become more authentic other places as well.

I don’t think anyone can be 100% what they are. If we were, we’d lie in bed all day eating candy instead of lying to others, trying to convince them we’re not so bad after all.

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