Don’t Visit Alaska Expecting to Drink Water Below 100 Degrees

There’s a lot to love about Alaska. The scenery. The nature. The lack of people.

One thing I didn’t enjoy was how hard it was to find drinkable water that wouldn’t burn the inside of my mouth. All of their available water is steaming. Whose igloo do I have to knock down around there to find a room temperature beverage?

We’ve already learned how the Philippines loves their cold showers. In Alaska, they adore their clear lava.

It’s understandable. Alaska is really cold and providing consistent hot beverages is a must in order to survive. I also imagine it comes in really handy whenever a fight breaks out. Tossing cold water at someone would only work if you’re a teenage boy and Kevin Spacey is coming after you. Or if you’re interested in becoming a newscaster and Matt Lauer is willing to offer you “some tips.” Hot water is a defense against just about anyone.

yukon river
Who needs boxing gloves when you have a cup of hot coffee in each hand?

At our hotel in Fairbanks, there was complimentary hot water with tea and hot cocoa nearby available in the lobby. In Coldfoot, while not complimentary, it was “endless.” That deserves quotes because the moment you left then came back you had to pay for it all over again. A tip for anyone looking for love in Alaska, if they say they’ll love you forever, it may only mean until you leave the room.

Down in the Philippines, things are different. They have bottomless iced teas at most restaurants because everyone constantly feels like they’re melting. I respect Jenny for being able to go from somewhere so hot, to somewhere so moderate (where we live now), and then to another extreme like Alaska and find something to appreciate about each place.

filipino in alaska
A year ago, she never saw snow in person. Now, she’s planning to leave me for Frosty.

Water is essential to all life except for Betsy DeVos. She drinks the blood of children who were left behind.

While Alaska doesn’t offer the abundance of moderate liquid life that I would have liked, it did give raise my blood sugar with all of the hot chocolate I drank. I also had a fun little piece of skin that burned off on the roof of my mouth which made for some good entertainment this past week.

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