I was informed by my now wife that I left out a few things in the most recent post regarding how cheap our wedding actually was. For all the penny pinching we did, I failed to truly reveal how tastefully … Continue reading Our Wedding Was Cheaper Than You Realize
Well, the wedding is over. I’m a married man who spends his Saturday nights eating Cheetos and cake. Why would anyone ever get divorced if this is what married life entails? Other than menopause, I can’t come up with a … Continue reading Wedding Planning for Cheap People
Already Jenny has spent more time in the US than I did in the Philippines. She has a better grasp of cultural norms here, which include shoving people on the train platform for seats and spending far too much money … Continue reading Learn to Appreciate the Small Stuff: Like Dying Leaves and Midgets
It’s been a few weeks since Jenny entered the despicable lair known as my home. Less than a week after she did we were fortunate enough to stumble upon a Filipino grocery store. And by stumble upon I mean via … Continue reading A Taste of Home-ba
I’m not sure how Donald Trump pulled it off. Maybe the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series one week earlier opened some vortex of horrors. Trump will be the next President of the United States despite his lack of political … Continue reading Donald Trump. Yuck!
Only a few days have passed since Jenny and I knocked the long distance out of our relationship. Since then, she has been attempting the impossible: domesticating a grown man. To her credit, she hasn’t had a nervous breakdown. I … Continue reading Can One Woman Domesticate A Grown Man?
Kenny Rogers of Jackass fame… Not, but really…Kenny Rogers, the musician who is as American as voting for Donald Trump while giving a bald eagle a blow job, has a popular restaurant in the Philippines. It’s called Kenny Rogers Roasters. … Continue reading Kenny Rogers Has a Popular Restaurant in the Philippines Yet None in the US
A certain bee I know will be with me soon in my humble little home in the United States. I only need to survive a few more days without her. For anyone who has ever been apart from someone they … Continue reading An Easy Promise
Jenny is on her way here. Not at this very moment, but soon. Very soon. Soon enough where there are parts of my apartment I can clean then completely avoid as not to completely dirty them up with my grimy … Continue reading Sayonara Skype, Loneliness, and Pooping with the Door Open
In anticipation of Jenny’s arrival the time has come for me to do what I hate most: adult things. Damn it! After a full lifetime of barely trying at anything and being a slob I managed to fall in love … Continue reading Cleaning is Overrated
Last beekend Jenny was forced into spending more time with me than usual as I welcomed another year of feeling like a loser. Yep, it was my birthday. Like we usually do on most Saturday nights/her Sunday mornings, we watched … Continue reading Swiss Army Man is the Perfect Bee Movie
A year has passed. A whole year since I got down on one knee in front of all those people, released those doves, and presented Jenny with a $40,000 ring has gone by. Except that’s not how it happened at … Continue reading Engaged One Year
One of the last meals Jenny and I shared together in-person (last weekend we shared a meal via Skype; she had oatmeal while I ate steak and potatoes due to the time difference–let’s not count this one though) took place … Continue reading C-Words: Cake Icing, Cheetos, and Coffee
The long distance part of the relationship Jenny and I have is coming to an end. Soon…ohhhh soon…it just becomes a relationship. Like pee and poop, we will be together much more often. The distance part, the hard one that … Continue reading Togetherness Matters Most in a Long Distance Relationship
The day before Jenny’s birthday we went to a barbecue place. It was a little different than places you’d find in the United States as it included many vendors and had no real walls or roof. You get to pick … Continue reading Transsexuals Cooked Me Pig Rectum
The last month I’ve felt some really big lows. Two Bees in a Blog hasn’t been updated at all because how do you write about your life when the only thing good in it is one day it will end? … Continue reading Depressed Eating vs. Celebration Eating
Every day I carry a piece of Jenny with me. On our first beecation together, we violently punched each other in the face until a few teeth got knocked out. It was a bloody affair, but at least now I … Continue reading The Blue Bag
Marrying a foreigner means an opportunity to eat the food she grew up with. What’s normal to Jenny isn’t always something I’m too familiar with. Filipino cuisine includes lots of pork and soups. Growing up in America, most of my … Continue reading Are You Afraid of Foreign Food?
Three years ago today, the day known as Declaration Day began. Not to bore you with the way Jenny and I came to bee (you’re here for the poop jokes after all) let me just say it happened three years … Continue reading Three Years Ago
I’m a very routine oriented person. Every morning when I wake up I curse my existence before proceeding to prepare for work. I take the same train, walk the same path, eat the same foods, avoid the same people, and … Continue reading Routines Are About to Change, Ohhh That is Good
Music is a powerful thing. As you’ve read on other posts throughout this blog, many songs remind me of Jenny and our time together. The Show (Just Enjoy the Show) by Lenka is one of them. During one of our … Continue reading Beecation Soundtrack Playlist: The Show (Just Enjoy the Show) by Lenka
On the most recent beecation the strangest morning Jenny and I happened pretty early on. I think it was Tuesday morning, a day after I had recovered from vomiting following my flight to the Philippines. I woke up at maybe … Continue reading Paul Mason: The World’s Fattest Man Watched by the World’s Weirdest Bees
A quick observation I’ve made during both of my trips to the Philippines: the bathrooms are different. I won’t even get into the tabos. I’ll save that for Jenny to explain sometime. Instead, let me briefly explain about the difference … Continue reading Privacy in Filipino Bathrooms vs. American Bathrooms
When you’re an adult your summer vacation is the last Monday in May and the first in September. You may also get off a day in early July depending on the day of the week Independence Day falls. We get … Continue reading How I Spent My Summer Vacation
TWO BEES in a BLOG 