I’m not sure how Donald Trump pulled it off. Maybe the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series one week earlier opened some vortex of horrors. Trump will be the next President of the United States despite his lack of political experience. And foul mouth. And terrifying agenda against anyone with differing belief systems.

I’m not political much at all. This election is gravely disappointing in that it actually affects people in a similar situation as Jenny and I. Trump’s take on immigration is an unkind one which possibly means trouble ahead for others attempting to come to this country. Living in a long distance relationship and being together was tough enough for us. I worry for the future how many hurdles LDR’ers will need to leap because of the reality TV show host we now have representing us.

Trump is the clichéd American we shouldn’t want to represent us. He bought his way into the election. He bullied, lied, and defamed. Well, those last three are typical. Trump was just far less classy about it. I’m not saying he should’ve worn a monocle when sexually harassing women, but it would’ve helped.

It’s disappointing to know we live in a place that values backward movement over progression. Make America Great Again tells us all we need to know. Trump wants to reverse time back to the 1980s. Couldn’t he just be a normal person and had a house party with 80s nostalgia? All of the kids are doing it! Plenty of thrift stores sell old 1986 New York Mets’ shirts and Tiffany albums.

The only thing to soothe me is knowing the Illuminati runs the country and Trump’s power will be limited. I’m pretty sure everything is going to be all right. I just need to shower a little bit more to feel clean.