I’m a very routine oriented person. Every morning when I wake up I curse my existence before proceeding to prepare for work. I take the same train, walk the same path, eat the same foods, avoid the same people, and do it all in the same timeline. It’s comfortable in many ways to know what’s coming when we live in a world with so many unexpected obstacles.

Soon my routines are going to change completely. No longer will I have the ability to immediately undress when I get home and throw my clothes wherever the hell I want. I also probably won’t get away without showering for a day on the weekend because soon I’ll have a wife who has to put up with my manly smells.

The timing of the routine change couldn’t come at a better time too. I’m honestly sick of it. I’m also clueless how to get out without burning a lot of bridges and leaving bodies.

Right now my routine doesn’t have very many variations. I know I’ll workout on Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday and maybe do some stretches on the other days so I don’t feel my age. I know the time when Jenny will be around and available to Skype, which for about the last year has only been on my Saturday nights. Well, that’s not exactly true. This is just the time when we’re both available and her snail Internet connection allows it to happen. It makes Saturdays focused on the 2-3 hours we get to spend together. I also know each day when I get home I’ll spend time writing, trying to take a few steps toward making it a career. Then on Wednesday and Thursday I’ll feel a little less motivated as the week has worn me down.

As comforting as the routines are, and as clueless as I am to what they will become when Jenny is here, I’m very excited. This is literally a new life. And best of all, I get to make it with someone I don’t despise.

Soon there will be less sports radio playing as my background noise, laundry completed in a timely manner, and a fully occupied bed. Jenny is more than the love of my life. She is my life. And soon I’ll flop out of a vagina*.

*I’ve never actually seen someone give birth, but I totally assume the motion a baby makes is flopping.