Public transportation has a bad reputation in the United States. Those who often use it are at the lowest levels of society. They are the people who work tirelessly to ensure society functions. These are the men you see at … Continue reading Welcome to America! Stay Safe on Our Public Transportation
I am a minimalist. Normally I wouldn’t use such a popular label onto myself, but that is what would accurately describe my lifestyle right now. It … Continue reading Minimalism and Dreams
We write a lot of toilet humor jokes on this blog. It’s not really a comedy blog either or a support group for those with IBS. Two Bees in a Blog is about our relationship which went from long distance … Continue reading Understanding Toilet Humor
Screw Matt Damon and his purchase of a zoo. Jenny and I got something even better recently: a couch. Now with a couch in our possession, expect endless parodies of The Simpsons’ opening credits. Also, prepare for missing quarters and … Continue reading We Bought A Couch
One of the first things Jenny and I did when she arrived in the US, after embracing each other and peeing at the airport twice, was make mango float. I can’t even remember which weekend we did this; if it … Continue reading How To Make Mango Float: The White Person Way
For the most part Jenny and I knew everything there was to know about each other. We’re pretty open about our insecurities, loves, and when we poop. One thing we haven’t seen yet is each other’s poop. Jenny has seen … Continue reading Marriage Opens the Door to Finding Out You’re Weird
Yes. Four days ago we ignored all the warnings and wisdom of this modern, existentialist, Trump-supporting society and did what only the conformist losers and ugly people do: we got married. And it was by far the happiest day of … Continue reading Ugly & Married: What More Could We Ask For?
I was informed by my now wife that I left out a few things in the most recent post regarding how cheap our wedding actually was. For all the penny pinching we did, I failed to truly reveal how tastefully … Continue reading Our Wedding Was Cheaper Than You Realize
Well, the wedding is over. I’m a married man who spends his Saturday nights eating Cheetos and cake. Why would anyone ever get divorced if this is what married life entails? Other than menopause, I can’t come up with a … Continue reading Wedding Planning for Cheap People
Already Jenny has spent more time in the US than I did in the Philippines. She has a better grasp of cultural norms here, which include shoving people on the train platform for seats and spending far too much money … Continue reading Learn to Appreciate the Small Stuff: Like Dying Leaves and Midgets
By decline, I don’t only mean the reclining theater chairs. Which is kinda cool, I guess…after you finished laughing at them. Friday after Thanksgiving is special for my fiance and I. That is the time we watched our first movie together–in … Continue reading The Decline of the Movie Theater Experience
I’m talking about “real” sidewalks where you could actually walk without fearing for your safety. In the Philippines, there’s all forms of public transportation for very short up to the very long distances. From the trisikad (cycle rickshaw) that could transfer you … Continue reading Sidewalks in the Philippines: A Myth
It’s been a few weeks since Jenny entered the despicable lair known as my home. Less than a week after she did we were fortunate enough to stumble upon a Filipino grocery store. And by stumble upon I mean via … Continue reading A Taste of Home-ba
I still haven’t gotten used to the cold autumn weather. Everyday is just freaking cold to me, no matter what time of the day. When I arrived here at almost midnight on halloween, Timmy said it’s actually nice out for him. … Continue reading Fall is FreezingAF for Someone from the Tropics
I’m not sure how Donald Trump pulled it off. Maybe the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series one week earlier opened some vortex of horrors. Trump will be the next President of the United States despite his lack of political … Continue reading Donald Trump. Yuck!
Only a few days have passed since Jenny and I knocked the long distance out of our relationship. Since then, she has been attempting the impossible: domesticating a grown man. To her credit, she hasn’t had a nervous breakdown. I … Continue reading Can One Woman Domesticate A Grown Man?
Three days ago, I met Timmy again after six months. It was different from the last times we’ve been together. Back then it ended in painful goodbyes after several days. This time, it would take several years before we have … Continue reading LDR No More
Kenny Rogers of Jackass fame… Not, but really…Kenny Rogers, the musician who is as American as voting for Donald Trump while giving a bald eagle a blow job, has a popular restaurant in the Philippines. It’s called Kenny Rogers Roasters. … Continue reading Kenny Rogers Has a Popular Restaurant in the Philippines Yet None in the US
A certain bee I know will be with me soon in my humble little home in the United States. I only need to survive a few more days without her. For anyone who has ever been apart from someone they … Continue reading An Easy Promise
Jenny is on her way here. Not at this very moment, but soon. Very soon. Soon enough where there are parts of my apartment I can clean then completely avoid as not to completely dirty them up with my grimy … Continue reading Sayonara Skype, Loneliness, and Pooping with the Door Open
In anticipation of Jenny’s arrival the time has come for me to do what I hate most: adult things. Damn it! After a full lifetime of barely trying at anything and being a slob I managed to fall in love … Continue reading Cleaning is Overrated
Last beekend Jenny was forced into spending more time with me than usual as I welcomed another year of feeling like a loser. Yep, it was my birthday. Like we usually do on most Saturday nights/her Sunday mornings, we watched … Continue reading Swiss Army Man is the Perfect Bee Movie
A year has passed. A whole year since I got down on one knee in front of all those people, released those doves, and presented Jenny with a $40,000 ring has gone by. Except that’s not how it happened at … Continue reading Engaged One Year
One of the last meals Jenny and I shared together in-person (last weekend we shared a meal via Skype; she had oatmeal while I ate steak and potatoes due to the time difference–let’s not count this one though) took place … Continue reading C-Words: Cake Icing, Cheetos, and Coffee
TWO BEES in a BLOG 