The first big snowstorm arrived in our parts this past Thursday. As usual, people panicked and bought up all of the milk, eggs, and brought at the grocery store as they huddled indoors sharpening their spears for the impending 12 … Continue reading In the Meadow We Can Build a Pathetic Snowman
Last Saturday, Timmy and I decided we’d cook one extra day for our traditional Weekend Cooking (usually it’s only during Sundays). This means we actually get … Continue reading How to Cook Fried Chicken Like an Amateur (13 EASY Steps)
It’s cold season and I don’t just mean the heart of our president. People are catching the flu from unprotected sex and sharing chewing gum with strangers. I was recently a victim of such a cold which left me pretty … Continue reading Sick and Married: Reason Number One to Make Soup
It feels like it’s so much to ask. Continue reading Dystopian Probability
I’ve always wondered what it feels like to lie down on snow and make a snow angel ever since I was a kid. At 24 years old, I finally did it! And boy, it was every bit as SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC as … Continue reading Making Your First Snow Angel is As Good As a Cheetos Party
I’m going to write a little about moles here. Not the scary kind that works at the bank. I mean the scary kind that grows on your skin. Moles terrify me. I’m American, after all. Jenny and her Filipino brethren … Continue reading Moles: The Big Black Ones On Your Face
Jenny and I recently did a very adult thing. We started a joint bank account. Then, we learned the bank couldn’t add her in. Luckily we did add her to my existing account rather easily after an hour of the … Continue reading Marriage Requirement: A Joint Bank Account
Public transportation has a bad reputation in the United States. Those who often use it are at the lowest levels of society. They are the people who work tirelessly to ensure society functions. These are the men you see at … Continue reading Welcome to America! Stay Safe on Our Public Transportation
I am a minimalist. Normally I wouldn’t use such a popular label onto myself, but that is what would accurately describe my lifestyle right now. It … Continue reading Minimalism and Dreams
Screw Matt Damon and his purchase of a zoo. Jenny and I got something even better recently: a couch. Now with a couch in our possession, expect endless parodies of The Simpsons’ opening credits. Also, prepare for missing quarters and … Continue reading We Bought A Couch
One of the first things Jenny and I did when she arrived in the US, after embracing each other and peeing at the airport twice, was make mango float. I can’t even remember which weekend we did this; if it … Continue reading How To Make Mango Float: The White Person Way
For the most part Jenny and I knew everything there was to know about each other. We’re pretty open about our insecurities, loves, and when we poop. One thing we haven’t seen yet is each other’s poop. Jenny has seen … Continue reading Marriage Opens the Door to Finding Out You’re Weird
Yes. Four days ago we ignored all the warnings and wisdom of this modern, existentialist, Trump-supporting society and did what only the conformist losers and ugly people do: we got married. And it was by far the happiest day of … Continue reading Ugly & Married: What More Could We Ask For?
I was informed by my now wife that I left out a few things in the most recent post regarding how cheap our wedding actually was. For all the penny pinching we did, I failed to truly reveal how tastefully … Continue reading Our Wedding Was Cheaper Than You Realize
Well, the wedding is over. I’m a married man who spends his Saturday nights eating Cheetos and cake. Why would anyone ever get divorced if this is what married life entails? Other than menopause, I can’t come up with a … Continue reading Wedding Planning for Cheap People
Already Jenny has spent more time in the US than I did in the Philippines. She has a better grasp of cultural norms here, which include shoving people on the train platform for seats and spending far too much money … Continue reading Learn to Appreciate the Small Stuff: Like Dying Leaves and Midgets
I still haven’t gotten used to the cold autumn weather. Everyday is just freaking cold to me, no matter what time of the day. When I arrived here at almost midnight on halloween, Timmy said it’s actually nice out for him. … Continue reading Fall is FreezingAF for Someone from the Tropics
Only a few days have passed since Jenny and I knocked the long distance out of our relationship. Since then, she has been attempting the impossible: domesticating a grown man. To her credit, she hasn’t had a nervous breakdown. I … Continue reading Can One Woman Domesticate A Grown Man?
Three days ago, I met Timmy again after six months. It was different from the last times we’ve been together. Back then it ended in painful goodbyes after several days. This time, it would take several years before we have … Continue reading LDR No More
A certain bee I know will be with me soon in my humble little home in the United States. I only need to survive a few more days without her. For anyone who has ever been apart from someone they … Continue reading An Easy Promise
Jenny is on her way here. Not at this very moment, but soon. Very soon. Soon enough where there are parts of my apartment I can clean then completely avoid as not to completely dirty them up with my grimy … Continue reading Sayonara Skype, Loneliness, and Pooping with the Door Open
In anticipation of Jenny’s arrival the time has come for me to do what I hate most: adult things. Damn it! After a full lifetime of barely trying at anything and being a slob I managed to fall in love … Continue reading Cleaning is Overrated
A year has passed. A whole year since I got down on one knee in front of all those people, released those doves, and presented Jenny with a $40,000 ring has gone by. Except that’s not how it happened at … Continue reading Engaged One Year
The long distance part of the relationship Jenny and I have is coming to an end. Soon…ohhhh soon…it just becomes a relationship. Like pee and poop, we will be together much more often. The distance part, the hard one that … Continue reading Togetherness Matters Most in a Long Distance Relationship
TWO BEES in a BLOG 