Not too many white people visit the Philippines. At least, not too many people leave white. Most humans have a skin tone that’ll either tan or turn red when under the Filipino sun, which I have heard is actually the … Continue reading Three Things I Look Like to Filipinos
Puso is the Visayan word for rice. Puso is also the Tagalog word for heart. Jenny Bee speaks Visayan, an off-branch of the Filipino language. I guess it’s basically the English equivalent of Jive or just mumbling everything you say. … Continue reading Show Me Your Puso: Rice is Close to the Hearts of All Filipinos
I miss being with Timmy. It’s as if everything is duller without him by my side. But I don’t want to write a sad post. Timmy won’t like that. Timmy would rather laugh and make fun of…of…hell, everyone. We practically … Continue reading Post-Being Together Blues
The second half of April was a special one for Jenny and me as we got to spend a full two weeks together. Practically nonstop, other than breaking for poop sessions, we were together. Our love is stronger than ever … Continue reading Love is About Watching Each Other Barf
(Timmy: You could write a preface, too. Write “This is what Timmy Bee and Jenny Bee wrote at the airport…” Jenny: *Death Stare*) P.S. But really, what Timmy said above. They entered the airport and found the most convenient, closest … Continue reading Airport Musings Turd Butt Poop (A Love Story)
Timmy is a silly bee who is with me and currently watching The Revenant but I’ve already seen the movie that’s why I’m in here writing a one-sentence post to update you that he’s been with me for 6 nights … Continue reading Beecation Teaser Post
Wow have I really not written anything here in three weeks? A lot has changed between Jenny and me since. For starters, we’ve completed the first step in being together forever/until she gets sick of me. Back in February we … Continue reading Petitions, Beecations, and Food Then More Food
It is no secret that Timmy and I are accomplished piggies. One proof of this is our constant preoccupation with food. Happiness is also very evident in our faces once we are served with a yummy piece of edible invention. … Continue reading Apple Cider Vinegar is Quite Expensive in the Philippines
For my birthday last year Jenny got me quite a few things including food. God I love food. I’m thinking about it right now. I even have some stashed under my mattress to look at whenever the house is empty. … Continue reading Words From Your Daughter-in-Law
No this isn’t about the title of my new goth rock opera. This is about how we’ve reached a point where our first reaction is the worst case scenario. Jenny and I have begun preparing to file for the I-129F … Continue reading The World is a Negative Place
Realizing I have only a few weeks to lose all of the weight I gained over the winter (which was probably just five pounds and it was the same five pounds I lost last fall before visiting Jenny) I’m attempting … Continue reading Bananas Are a Great Reason to Get Married
Because Timmy won’t go through with the wedding unless I’m at least 120 lbs maximum. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ugh, that is so impossible to do now. I can’t lose 100 lbs in two months! Timmy loves me anyway no matter what weight … Continue reading I’m Meeting My Fiancé in Less than Two Months So I Need to Lose Weight Fast
Let’s play a game. It’s called Whose Shirt Is It? Think of this as a game similar to Whose Line Is It Anyway? with completely different rules. The only similarity is the name. Our first contestant is Timmy Bee. He … Continue reading Whose Shirt Is It?
My plans to make this year’s Valentine’s Day a special one for Jenny and me are ruined. Well, not really. I just didn’t get to do everything I had hoped. First, since it is Saturday, we had to decide earlier … Continue reading Long Distance Relationship Valentine’s Day Plans Ruined: Redbox, Cadbury Eggs
I’m trying to find a topic to write about for this blog because I’m in one of those moods where I need to do something creative if only for the sake of taking my mind off of food. I could … Continue reading An Advanced Apology to My Fiancée
When I was out on my first date with Timmy I had an allergic reaction. From what, we’re not really sure of. Our prime suspect was chicken. But then our first meal together had chicken in it and an entire … Continue reading How Not to Freak Out When Both Eyes Suddenly Swell From Out of Nowhere On Your Date
My 28th birthday was a strange one. I woke up at 3:30 in the morning or so and was outside by 4AM trotting a mile with a bag full of clothes over my shoulders. Birthdays are supposed to be spent … Continue reading When Did My 28th Birthday End?
Working a 9-5 job, at least for me, is the equivalent to bending over to touch your toes while naked in a prison shower. I’m not talking about any regular prison either. This is one of those prisons on a … Continue reading Working 9-5 Sucks, Especially in a Long Distance Relationship
Jenny doesn’t know this, but I came really close to dying when I visited her in October. Something I didn’t know about Filipinos is they love bones in their meats or at least they are too lazy to remove them. … Continue reading I Almost Died in the Philippines Then I Had to Poop
I don’t think a week goes by where Jenny or I promise the other we’ll go on a diet. It’s silly, really. We’re engaged. We’re supposed to get really fat now. This is the perk of finding someone to love … Continue reading Diets are for People Who Can Accept Breaking Promises to Themselves
The same way Jenny has to deal with people thinking I’m some rich old white man I am burdened with people assuming she is a step above a mail order bride. Because the Philippines isn’t a nation Americans typically know … Continue reading Yes, My Filipino Fiancée Speaks and Understands English
There were four times I consciously tried to ignore Timmy: twice when we were separated by almost 9000 miles, twice when we were less than an arm’s length away. Unless there are more instances where I unconsciously made him felt … Continue reading How to Ignore Someone You Love and Completely Fail
You’re not a real Filipino if you don’t recognize what a lechon is. Even those who don’t eat it because of religious beliefs know how popular it is in the Philippines. For every celebration–birthdays, weddings, fiestas, Christmas, you name it–the … Continue reading Lechon a.k.a. Roasted Pig/King of all Filipino Foods
Patience is the most important thing I’ve taken away from my relationship with Jenny. I’m generally not a patient person, often throwing shadow punches whenever my internet connection won’t load. I will also leave a place if the line looks … Continue reading Long Distance Relationship Lesson #1: Patience, Four Minute Skype Curse
TWO BEES in a BLOG 