Long Distance Relationship Advice: Don’t Take Anyone’s Advice

How do you do it? How do you survive a long distance relationship?

There’s no clear answer. Food, water, and air certainly help. There’s more to it, though.

Jenny and I can give you plenty of advice on how to survive a long distance relationship. From August 2013 until Halloween 2016, we lived on other sides of the world. In that time, we only spent a total of three weeks together in person. Each time we did, our hearts grew fonder for each other, thus making the distance that much more difficult to withstand.

ldr love
If you think we look lovey here, wait until we got to the buffet after.

Every long distance relationship story is different. That’s why I don’t think you should take anyone’s advice on how to survive them. However, I will point out some bad advice when I see it.

From a Google search, I came across a post entitled “How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship.” Like many things online, I scrolled through it half-assedly at first. I’m like most online readers. I wait to see the stuff in bold. Thankfully, the bold stuff managed to catch my eye because some of it wasn’t very good.

The four items listed by the author, Mark Manson, are as follows:

  1. You Always Need Something to Look Forward to Together
  2. Be Slow to Judge
  3. Make Communication Optional
  4. Make Sure the Distance is Temporary

I agree with the first two. Those are no-brainers in any relationship. It’s the final two, the William and Stephen Baldwin of the family, which I have an issue with.

baldwin brothers
Pretty sure the Baldwin Brothers’ only reason to exist was for analogies about things getting worse. (Photo Courtesy of doublebirthorder.blogsports.com)

Communication is the most important part of all relationships whether it be romantic, friendly, or as archenemies. In a long distance relationship, this is all you have. You can’t read each other’s body language. So, when the author suggests it’s okay to go more than a day without talking, I have a gripe.

Jenny learned this the hard way when she tried to ween herself off of me temporarily. It’s a futile effort. Why punish yourself? Why create more distance when a globe is already keeping you apart?

Maybe setting a specific time to chat isn’t for everyone. But to go more than a day without communicating with your significant other…are you really in love? Even a small note to let them know you’re alive makes a difference.

always leave a note
“And that’s why you always leave a note.” – one armed guy from Arrested Development (Photo Courtesy of arresteddevelopment.wikia.com)

As for his final point, I agree with the title, but not an additional statement made thereafter. Mr. Manson says in one of his long distance relationships with a woman (let’s hope he’s not in for a surprise) in Brazil that he had a conversation about how long they could wait for each other. They agreed that if they weren’t together within a year, there was no reason to continue.

I understand how tough it is to be apart from your lover. Believe me. Setting a timetable seems a little too much like you’re making an excuse.

Considering the author’s circumstances, I shouldn’t judge. It seems as if he has been through many LDR’s in his day. After the rest failed, he wanted to make sure the newest didn’t end over those same faults. Regardless, I can’t ever imagine creating an ultimatum for love.

But Timmy Bee, don’t you have any advice on how to survive a long distance relationship?

Thanks for scrolling to the bottom after seeing the bold above.

The best advice I can give is to let it last. It’s like all relationships. If you want it, keep it going at all costs. Be with that person as much as possible in whatever way you can. One day, you will be together.

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