Many times in a long distance relationship you’d have to force yourself to be positive. Positive that you’ll see each other soon enough. That you’ll be together one day and never have to say goodbye again.
It’s not easy. Back when we were still just friends, Timmy and I even talked lots how long distance relationships are so difficult, faulty, and just wouldn’t work. That’s because we’ve had bad experiences with LDRs before and thought the circumstances had something to do why those relationships didn’t stand a chance (how naive, blaming the circumstances instead of the people).
But love always finds a way. We were falling in love with each other even though we tried to deny it to ourselves at first. We were hesitant not just because of our failed experiences but because we know a long distance relationship would be difficult. Sometimes though, when you love a person enough, you stop seeing things as difficult or impossible. With the right person things are still challenging, yes, but they’re now possible and even rewarding.
No relationship would work out for good without trust. This is even more relevant with long distance relationships. Most if not all of the time, you don’t have access to your partner’s physical or behavioral cues to help your judgment of the truth. If Timmy and I didn’t trust each other enough, the relationship would have fallen to pieces early on. Why, it wouldn’t even have started! But it helped that we started out as good friends. We became each other’s confidants.
If you have doubts about your partner’s character and sincerity, don’t expect your relationship to last. Hell, don’t even start. You can save yourself from heartbreak and wasting your time.
It Takes a Whole Lot of Work, Too
But then, not really. Well it doesn’t seem like work to me at all because I love doing those things for Timmy, for us. What things? Compromise. Making time. Being there for each other. Waking up at 3 a.m. for a good Skype reception. Picking out work schedules that would give you time to talk (a 12-hour difference is no joke). Going to Manila (a place I’d rather not be in) and brave a tornado so I could go to our medical and interview for the beesa (visa)–this will have its own blog post soon. Talking to your partner on phone even though you’re surrounded with “unsafe” people. Talking to each other every chance you get. And the list goes on…
Point is, a relationship could only work if you’re willing to put effort on it. That means both of you. You can’t just demand your partner to do things if you’re not asking as much from yourself (a.k.a. Don’t be a bitch).
You might be discouraged to do all the work at first, but the rewards of love, real love surpasses any of the struggles. And then, with the right person, those things don’t even feel like work at all. They’re just natural. Because your sense of reality then would always involve the other person, being with your partner. The things you do to achieve that, those become a part of your reality now. And you only see them as “work” if you put it in comparison with other people’s efforts. Or when you are trying to make a blog post. :3