At least, not in the way you’re thinking.

Before we were even officially in a relationship, I knew dating Timmy, a white American, would be quite a shock to the people around me. Philippines is not as diverse as the United States, and interracial relationships–something that Timmy wrote about here–are not something you see everyday. Plus, white people definitely stand out among Filipinos, who are mostly brown-skinned. And Timmy is as white as a healthy white person could be.

For most people here though, dating a white man means a ticket to financial prosperity. I could tell you more where I think this mentality came from–that all white men are rich–but I wanna do that on a more elaborate post. This thinking is all hilarious, stupid, and annoying in various degrees, depending on what mood you are in.

I did not date Timmy because he is white. I dated him because he  has lots of money is a wonderful person and I love him dearly.

Dating a white man is no different than dating a person of your own race (if you’re not white). Of course there are cultural differences (e.g. RICE!) every now and then, but the things that really matter are not dictated by the color of your skin. It’s all PERSONAL. Timmy and I happen to have similar values and way of looking at life. It just happens that he is white and I am brown, that he lives in the United States and I in the Philippines. When we were together last October, I never really thought we were “interracial” until we got out in public and people stared.  I don’t see him as a white man. I see him as my man. Those things–skin color and culture/residency–are just toppings to the dough and filling of your favorite donut.

Timmy is not a rich man. I even more so. We work our butts off in jobs that we would really abandon as soon as someone would offer us the same/more income doing creative stuff. Creative really means a lot of things though. Creating new donut flavors is a creative thing. In order to do that, you must taste a lot of donuts. Therefore, that is the perfect job for Timmy. I could do the same for pizza, I think. I once ate a whole 16-inch pizza celebrating Timmy’s birthday even though we’re over 8000 miles apart. Yes, I love him that much.

Point is, I’m so annoyed with the stereotype that Filipino girls only date white men to use their money. True, some people do that. SOME, not all. It’s not even case-specific to Filipinos since moochers and users abound in any race. And Timmy is not stupid. If my intention was just to milk him for bucks, he would know it even from 8000 miles away. He has a special radar for that phenomenon. The radar is called Being Cheap. I also happen to have it. Why do you think we get along so well?

Timmy never gave me money, not because he didn’t want to, but because I am vehemently against it. Even though we’re both thrifty with our money, Timmy never hesitates to offer me his money if he thinks I needed help. But I haven’t reached that point yet–gah, I hope I never will. As much as possible, I want to work for what I spend. Nonetheless, if Timmy wins an actual lottery, I would demand for half the prize. Hey, I’m not just a wife for decoration. I have actual rights!!!

Since we’re talking about lottery already, let me clarify how I started this post. True, dating Timmy is not like winning the lottery financially. But it’s even more than winning the lottery because the joy that Timmy gives me is beyond what money can buy. Do not date a white man–hell, any man–just because you want to improve your financial status. Date a man because he actually gives you cuddles even though you’re not asking for it. Date a man because you’d move anywhere in the world just to be with him, and he the same for you. Date a man because he lets you be piggy and eat Pop-Tarts at midnight. Date a man because he never lets you sleep without kissing the tears in your eyes.  Date a man because he buys you fiber bars if you have difficulty pooping and mouth words of encouragement from the other side of the bathroom door. Date a man because you fucking love him and not what material comforts he could give. Those things are temporary, replaceable.

Your lifetime partner is not.